So deep did I descend

So deep did I descend
beyond my birth
until I met with earlier death
that thrust me back again
into this singing pyramid
to measure out the inflamed
realm of silence
and I am white with yearning for you –
Death – be no longer a stepfather to me –

Death – I am white with yearning for you
beyond your last dying light
every drop of blood is shed
into the moment
of your nothingness by
lifeless ones

So tief bin ich hinabgefahren
über meine Geburt hinaus
bis ich den früheren Tod traf
der mich wieder verstieß
in diese singende Pyramide
um auszumessen das entzündete
Schweigereich
und ich sehne mich weiß nach dir
Tod – sei mir kein Stiefvater mehr –-

Tod – ich sehne mich weiß nach dir
bis über dein letztes sterbendes Licht
alle Blutstropfen
in den Augenblick
deines Nichts vergießen
Leblose 

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4 thoughts on “So deep did I descend

  1. The “…that thrust me back again
    into this singing pyramid
    to measure out the inflamed
    realm of silence…” gave me a chill.
    Powerful, troubling, but also comforting, too.
    Very real.

    • I find most of these poems very troubling – the challenge is to convey all of those things in the English without letting the images disintegrate into just a jumble of words.

  2. Not being able to enjoy life must be awful. If you have a terminal illness, you know you are going to die, possibly soon, but anyhow you accept that an early death is most likely what is going to happen. If you have no desire to live anymore because you lost the person you loved you wish to die, however you know that it is more likely you have to go on living with a broken heart. What a dark place to be in! Did she feel writing gave her some consolation for having to go on living?

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